3.20.2011

Current events and FAQ's

March has been pretty nuts.

1) I moved.  I'm officially 28yrs old living with Old Man Pops.  Though, I can't complain much, as he brought me breakfast in bed this morning.  We also get to watch movies on his 100 inch projector screen, and soon the pool will be fah-boo.  It's kind of "the life."  But still, I'm 28 yrs old living with Old Man Pops, aaaaand...yep.

2) I sold my business.  I'm a baller.

3)  I accepted a J-O-B!  My recruiter and new boss feel confident that my paperwork will be ready in time.  I'll have to expedite the process with a road trip to Austin and a pretty penny to a company called Apostillepros, but I'm fine with making the mad dash.  I'm signed, sealed, and soon to be delivered to Omni School in Ulsan, South Korea.  Barring any paperwork disasters, I'm outta here around May 15th.

March has also been full of questions.  Many questions about my plan from various people.  Mostly strangers, like my new life insurance agent, my movers, potential buyers, and even my interview with my new boss.  I keep having the same conversation, over and over.  It's like Groundhog Day.

FAQ #1:

"You're 28?  Are you married?"

"No, traveling alone."

"Have you been married?  Have a boyfriend?"

"No and no."

"How does a nice girl like you not have a man?"

...radio silence...

"Do you want to get married?"

"I'm not sure."

...cue the raised eyebrows,  frown, shrug and "Huh," and in the case of a nurse recently taking my blood, a small gasp, for which I half expected to look over and see my arm falling off and crawling away. Or whatever gasp inducing bloodwork entails.  Come to find out, she was very young and recently married and shocked at my response, so I tacked on a "Maybe, eventually, I guess" to appease her interrogation.  But she still had questions for me.

So.  Why is this the focus when I say I'm moving to the other side of Earth?  I feel like there are better things to say.  Like, "have fun!"

Here's the thing.  I feel like this deserves a high-five because it has taken a lot of experience, confusion, and soul searching for me to accept and admit:  I'm being selfish.  I spent seven years of my 20's in two consecutive long term relationships.  I am sad for everything I missed out on during those years, being tied down for so long.  I have a very hard time picturing myself doing that again with anyone anytime soon, particularly with the next chapter mapped out.

Incidentally, I went to dinner with a friend last night (shout out, Homegrown) and the relentless topic, typical as it is, came up in conversation.  I gave the usual "I don't know, yeah, maybe, eventually" vagueness and returned the question, to which I received a very definitive "No, never."   It was nice to hear such conviction from someone else my age, and my own uncertainty feels some validation today.  I don't know that I'm ballsy enough to say never, but I am feeling more confident to leave my response to the nay-sayers at "I'm not sure" without further commentary.  Boom.  Let's lower our eyebrows and unshrug our shoulders now.

FAQ #2:

"What are your plans when you return?"

"I have no idea."

"You don't know what you want to do?  At 28?"

"I want to do a lot of things."

...cue, again, the raised eyebrows, frown, shrug, and "Huh."

Here's the thing again, and it has taken me a while to accept and admit this, as well:  I know my resume is supposed to look a certain way, and I "should" be following a certain plan.  And however random and unconnected, all of my  chapters to this point have fallen into place nicely, just as they will in the future.  I'm very happy to go with the flow and see what unfolds.  Really, I just have a hard time accepting that I'm supposed to pick one thing I like to do for the rest of my life.  I'd prefer to go to my grave telling stories of big adventures rather than how I worked and retired, and then was too old to do anything else.

I don't know where I'm going with this, other than voicing my annoyance with the passive criticism.  I guess my point to those inquiring minds is just ... HEY! It's a tremendous a luxury to be able to make your own decisions for yourself and your life, without justification, and to have the opportunities to do exactly what you want, whether it follows the "rules" or not.  Not everyone in the world is afforded such luxuries.  But for those who are, I certainly wish for whatever it is that makes them happy - without the raised eyebrows, frowns, shrugs and "Huh's."

So.  Booyah to the haters.  Yes.  I'm single and career-less (read: hassle-free).  I like it that way and I'm off to Korea/to travel.  The beauty of it all being that it's exactly what I want to do.

Coming to you, evidently, from the shrink's couch -
Kate

5 comments:

LynneGwist said...

I think such openness to the unknown is a marvelous family trait that those of us who don't share that quality in as much abundance are both perplexed by and a bit jealous of. Though I can only speak for myself. ;D

Living life on your own terms, for your own happiness, is not indicative of selfishness but self-awareness. You're simply aware that the prescribed and scheduled life others chose is not the choice you chose to make.

Melissa said...

I love this post! Kate I think you are inspiring :)

Anne and Andy said...

Amen sistah! You do what YOU need to do and let the rest of us marvel in your adventures!! ;) <3 you!

Susan said...

I got my documents apostilled for $2 each at the Secretary of State's Office.

Kate said...

You must live in a more awesome state than Texas. It's pricier here and they don't apostillize federal docs, you have to send off for those.